Confession. For some of us, the word confession can evoke unpleasant memories of being forced to “fess up” after getting caught doing something wrong. For others, it may surface feelings of relief as when we are finally able to safely disclose a hidden secret. However that word feels to us, confession is very simply an admission of guilt. 

Confession can be scary because it can be an admission of something negative about ourselves, be it something we’ve done or some fault in our character. And the less we’ve developed a relationship with someone the more fearful we become of true confession. Why? Because we do not know how the other person is going to respond. Perhaps their opinion of us will change. Or maybe our confession might lead them to reject us. But in the context of an intimate relationship that is characterized by forgiveness, grace, and love, confession can actually become very liberating. In fact, a rhythm of confession and forgiveness is necessary for a thriving relationship. The healthiest marriages are characterized by honesty, providing a place where admission of faults and confession of wrongdoings are safely exchanged. Friendships thrive when they foster a safe place to admit that we’ve been wronged or have wronged another. And though it might feel counter-intuitive, the safest place of confession resides in our relationship with God.

Moment by moment, God is graciously seeking a restored relationship with us. Still many of us go about our lives bound up, fearful of fully disclosing our sin and ‘coming clean.’ If this is the case, it is likely that our perception of God is such that we feel threatened or unsafe. When we view God as a wrathful, angry God who needs to be appeased by our confession, we are unable to see confession as a loving initiative towards intimacy. Feelings of guilt, shame, and fear overwhelm us. But we can change our minds! Rather than threatening us, confession can become an invitation to receive a renewed fellowship and communion with God.  Because his love is unfailing and he is a gracious, forgiving God, confession comes to us as a gift disguised. 

In the Scriptures, we see the example of the Church of Laodicea in Revelation 3. There is no doubt the sin of lukewarmness is distasteful to our Lord. And yet, his posture towards us in verse 20 is this – he stands at the door and knocks, waiting for us to come to him. The act of confession is like opening the door to our Savior who is knocking and waiting. Christ remains eager to invite us into restored fellowship with him. So for those who have walked some time with Jesus, they no longer expect Christ to recoil or reject us because of our faults, flaws and sins. They understand that their Savior loves them with an everlasting love. They’ve experienced how eager Jesus is to forgive and to restore. They recognize that no matter how distasteful their sin may be, their Lord is even more eager for them to experience restored fellowship and communion.

Practice: Confession & Reconciliation (Listening Pairs or Triads)

1. Decide who will confess first.
2. Opening  prayer: “Lord, search our hearts. Help us to see our sin and to truly repent. Amen.” 
3. Presenter shares honestly and openly about sin. 
4. Listener: “Let’s take a moment to sit in silence.” (1 min)
5. Listener: “Is there more you would like to share?”
6. Listener: “Would you like to confess these things to the Lord now?” 
7. Presenter prays aloud, confessing sin to God.
8. Listener: “  [name]  , by the authority given by Christ to his church, and according to God’s Word that proclaims that the Lord forgives us and purifies us from all unrighteousness when we confess our sins (1 John 1:9), hear these words of assurance: Your sin is forgiven. Go in peace!” 
9. Listener prays a brief prayer of blessing. Switch roles.